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prompt: the impossible

September 22, 2020
katieddavidson

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    I wrote this haiku last week in @hannah__muse’s I wrote this haiku last week in @hannah__muse’s monthly meditation group, #ѕhєltєrínthєhєαrt. No, “red and blue” don’t refer to political parties (although @maryjayyogini and I agreed starting a new purple party sounds tempting these days 😂💜). It’s about an only child feeling divided between divorced parents. A couple years ago, I was having a sleepover at @ilanaingber’s. We were laying in bed, winding down, and journaling. I eventually fell asleep looking at a beautiful painting she has hanging on her wall (an @ilanaingber.art original!). I loved the colors, how the baby blues on one side faded into the pretty pinks, blending into a dreamy lavender shade (purple’s always been my favorite color). When I woke up and sat in meditation, I thought about how I’m that shade of purple, never fully fitting in with my mom’s fiery red side of the family nor dad’s cool blue clan. I never wanted to choose sides (luckily I never had to), and yet I couldn’t deny I struggled with where I stood after their rupture. In retrospect, I see I’ve always stood apart as my own unique shade of purple. After sitting in meditation with our virtual kula last week, this came to mind / heart when Hannah prompted us to write a haiku. 🌈 P.S. Join our love fest! The first meditation of the month is always free to try. Follow @hannah__muse for all the juicy deets.
    Had to repost these #carebearstare vibes from @han Had to repost these #carebearstare vibes from @hannah__muse 🌈🌈 When we were in Guatemala together in summer 2018, on a Karma Yoga service trip building a school out of plastic bottles, my fellow yogins and I were sitting around the fire, going around asking / answering different questions. "whαt íѕ thє σnє wєαpσn чσu wσuld вríng íntσ вαttlє?" someone asked. I thought for a moment, then said: "α cαrє вєαr" "чσu'rє gσnnα díє," @sheauxpony replied. 😂 {When we told Hannah the story, she said, "nσ, чσu dσn't nєєd α cαrє вєαr. чσu αrє thє cαrє вєαr." 😭} And tbh that’s kinda what opening my heart, taking off all the armor I’ve layered on top of it for years, feels like. Following up on my last post, when I told @eema.music about feeling like my heart caught an infection from being too open, we came up with the term "flσvє gαtєѕ" to describe an outpouring of love upon finally opening my untapped grief’s flood gates. I imagine those "flσvє gαtєѕ" looking something like this. And trust the unfolding. 🦋
    “It feels like my heart was so open, I caught an “It feels like my heart was so open, I caught an infection...” are words I recently shared with a mentor. This is what codependency feels like in my body, a familiar feeling that’s been coming up a lot lately (I blame the sugar detox—see my post from 2 months ago—though I’m grateful it’s coming up for healing). That’s what I was feeling in these pictures taken this past Halloween weekend. I hoped basking in the sun (the pimple cure my dad swears by) would work the same magic on my infected heart. These past few days, I’ve felt similar sensations. I’ve cried rivers of tears, tapping into oceans of grief—ancient history grief—I didn’t know I still carried with me. For the first time in possibly ever, I’m not expecting anyone else to help me carry my “griefcase” (lol) but really sitting with it, setting it down, unpacking it, carrying its contents the way I might carry a crying child, telling myself: 𝒾'𝓂 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒... 𝒾'𝓋𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊... 𝒾𝓉'𝓈 𝓈𝒶𝒻𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝒸𝓇𝓎... 𝒾 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊... 𝒾'𝓂 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝑔𝑜𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒶𝓃𝓎𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒... until I’m ready to let go. I’m meeting my own needs, the ones I used to externally source from relationships, people pleasing, social media, sugar (apparently), and other learned survival strategies. In my weekly writing group, I recently shared my favorite chapter from @glennondoyle’s memoir #Untamed: "Grief is a lonely basement guest room. No one, not even your sister, can join you there. So I sat down on the floor with my back against her bedroom door. I used all I had, my body and my presence, to hold vigil, to guard her process, to place myself between her and anything else that might disturb or hurt her. I stayed there for hours. I came back to her door for that nightly vigil for a very long time... It's like that small, dark room was a cocoon. All that time she was in there undergoing a complete metamorphosis. Grief is a cocoon from which we emerge anew." Writing is an intimate process that often taps into grief. I’m grateful for the sisters in this group that trust me to guide them into deep meditation + prompts and show up for themselves / each other, guarding our cocoons until we’re ready to emerge anew. Join us at #linkinbio 🦋
    I *could have* spent today working on the 15-page I *could have* spent today working on the 15-page paper I have due on Monday... translating 5 lines of Sanskrit due this weekend (which feels like the equivalent of a 15-page paper)... or responding to the never-ending emails sitting in my inbox. Instead, I let inspiration take the lead. That creative flow led me into concepting a big @lmuyogastudies event (that’s not until October), around something my teacher @kennygrahamyoga said during my YTT training: how each of us are unique expressions of the Divine, like the different colors of a rainbow reflecting the same sun. Before I had the chance to guilt myself over not managing my time better, I noticed this right outside my door. 🌈🌈
    Take a peek inside our 𝒸𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓉𝒾𝓋𝒾𝓉𝓎 𝒸𝑜𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓀𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒸𝑜𝓃𝓉𝒶𝒾𝓃𝑒𝓇 ➡️ We’ve had the honor of welcoming: ✨ fiction writers ✨ poets ✨ watercolorers ✨ oil painters ✨ welders ✨ knitters ✨ statue makers ✨ pet portraitists ✨ vision boarders ✨ color-by-numberers In short, creators of all kinds! How it works: 1. Come with whatever supplies you have and/or projects you want to work on. Not sure? Amazing! You get to see what your soul wants to create and what comes through on the page. 2. Either @ilanaingber or I will guide you in a grounding activity: she typically goes for movement, while meditation is my jam. We switch off every week and will also share some creativity tips and tools. 3. Next, her or I will put on some tunes and start our dedicated work < 𝓅𝓁𝒶𝓎 time creating. 4. After, you can share what you’ve created or anything that’s coming up for you! We’ll witness and cheer you on (and know you don’t have share if you don’t want to). 5. PSA: I’ll most likely ask everyone to hold up their art at the end, so I can take a screenshot (proud mama bear 🐻 that I am - hence the photos you’ll see when you swipe - but you can always opt out). Want in on the fun? 𝒟𝒶𝓉𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝒞𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓉𝑒 is every Friday at 7pm PT via zoom. Link to join is at the link in my bio.
    Procrastinate much? I’m so guilty. 🙋🏼‍♀️ Naturally, when writing this piece for @teachable, I procrastinated (I mean, I had to, right? In the name of research...? 🤷🏼‍♀️😂). Here’s a sneak peek at some of my tips (thank you, @teachable, for making me want to jump onboard the TikTok train 😍). Read the full article at the link in my bio to find out why (some forms of) procrastinating might be beneficial, plus what to do when it 𝒾𝓈 hindering you from sharing your gifts with the world.
    𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓅𝓎 𝑔𝓇𝑜𝓊𝓃𝒹𝒽𝑜𝑔 𝒹𝒶𝓎 • I've always loved this holiday because it's my dad's birthday (not to mention the Bill Murray movie is one of my all-time faves). While most people hope the groundhog doesn’t see his shadow (signifying an early spring), my new #GroundhogDay tradition is to face my own. We’ll be doing some more #shadowwork in tonight’s virtual #writinggroup. Last week, we explored metaphors / archetypes that represent our dark sides, accepting them without judgement. Tonight, we’ll continue this exploration through meditation, along with new prompts and tips. Let’s go deep together - link to join is in my bio. 🖤
    ✌️ ϲɾҽɑԵíѵíԵվ ϲօ-աօɾƘíղց ϲ ✌️ ϲɾҽɑԵíѵíԵվ ϲօ-աօɾƘíղց ϲօղԵɑíղҽɾՏ ✌️ I'm committed to creating—and holding—space for creative endeavors, which often fall to the bottom of our to-do lists. You're invited to join me two nights a week (+ my pal @ilanaingber for the second one!) for support, accountability, community, mindfulness, and play. Links in bio! P.S. Note that tonight’s #writinggroup is at a new, later time ✍🏻
    This is me in India last year, and, apparently, th This is me in India last year, and, apparently, this is the face I make when I hear someone say they 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓁𝓎 don’t eat sugar. Now, here I am a little over a year later consciously making that same decision. I’m in my second semester of @lmuyogastudies’ master program, and one of my assignments is to give up and commit to something all semester long in the name of #tapas, which can be translated as "austerity" or "discipline." Why sugar? Well, partly to detox from my excessive intake of peppermint hot chocolates over the holidays (I was averaging 2/day 😆), but mostly because of how addictive it is – and my commitment to liberating myself from addictive, numbing substances (case in point: coffee, which I used to 𝓃𝑒𝑒𝒹 to get through the day and haven’t had in years). I’ve given up sugar in the past, while doing elimination diets like #Whole30 and #CrazySexyYou, and felt great. So I know it’s possible. During those month-long cleanses, I learned just how pervasive sugar is in the foods we consume (does sugar 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 need to be in store-bought, sliced turkey?), so often we’re not even aware that we’re feeding this addiction. I’ve been slowly weaning myself off sugar for the past couple days (to get rid of any lingering temptations in my kitchen + take stock of which grocery items have the insidious ingredient), and my body’s already kicking and screaming. Yesterday, I caught myself reaching for a beer – totally cool if that’s your thing (+ in moderation, of course) but uncharacteristic for me these days, as I hardly drink anymore (alcohol being another one of those addictive, numbing substances I’ve chosen to liberate myself from). In my newsletter tomorrow, I’ll be sharing what happened when I stayed present and curious, rather than reactively replaced one numbing substance with another (sign up at #linkinbio to receive! In addition to my mindful musings, I occasionally share writing prompts + tips). I’ll also continue sharing more about my #tapas journey here - wish me luck! 🤞 {📸: @iamrubyray 🥰}
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